Envelope

Right now, in my husband's jeep, there is an envelope...an envelope filled with so much promise. So much joy and laughter will take place when we open that tiny little piece of paper. There may even be some jumping around the room and squealing. You see, I am at the halfway point in my pregnancy and this pregnancy thing has not been an easy road for us. This is my third pregnancy and we are believing that God will bring this baby full term. Someday when I am ready, I will write our journey on this blog. But, today, I am not ready. Jason doesn't want to know the gender of our baby. He wants it to be a surprise in the spring when we meet this child face to face. I am too much of a planner for that. I don't need all pink or blue in the baby's room...not my style at all to go so cliche... No, I am a planner in that I want to think about raising a son or a daughter. They are just so different! I have been through enough to not care one way or the other what gender this baby is. I asked Jason this morning what gender he wanted and his response was "Healthy." Amen to that. We had an ultrasound this morning. I was amazed at the two kidneys I saw on the screen, the four chambers of my baby's beating heart, the spinal cord whole and strong. I was also laughing to myself as the ultrasound tech over and over repeated, "Oh my word this child is SO active." She doesn't know I have been praying for a fighter... Jason and I have compromised. He gets to open the envelope when he wants and then he will set out on a mission to find an outfit for the baby that he will give to me at Christmas so I too will know if we will have a son or a daughter. Can't wait to find out. I will keep you posted.

Junior High Moments

While I survived the weekend without getting hit with the exhaustion bug, it hit me this morning. I wanted to set up permanent residence in my bed today. My heart is full, but my body is worn out. God alone accomplished some big things this weekend. For that I am forever grateful. I love retreats because I believe so strongly that when we pull away from the normal distractions (facebook, phones...ect.) we are given full opportunity to be still before God and hear from Him, distraction free. This weekend was full of funny, JH type moments too. My husband took 3 boys running on Saturday morning... They needed to keep up with a rigorous cross country schedule. One boy he was running with was complaining about needing his medicine in order to keep running. Jason, not really a person to worry, kept running. After about 15 min on the trail, he did start to get concerned when this student would not let up about his medicine he had to take. Jason-getting concerned- (which is out of character for him) asked this boy what he takes. The boy's response??? Gummy vitamins. Good news is, he made it. Witnessed a small victory for us girls. Lauren, an 8th grader sat at a table of all guys (mostly 7th graders) at lunch one day. She asked me to sit with her to keep the sisterhood alive. As we ate, 2 of the guys confessed to reading their sister's diaries. Which was just funny to me as they described it. For the next 15 minutes, Lauren gave these young men several pointers on how to treat their sisters better. Between throwing things across the table at each other and eating the rest of their lunch, I think they walked away from that conversation with some valuable nuggets of wisdom on how to treat the female gender. I asked three young men to lead the welcome at one of our sessions. They led us in a Richard Simon's type workout. Hilarious. I am so enjoying these students. There is a full, fun, godly energy among them. They love to be together, and they love to be at church! That is such a blessing they are making that such a priority in their lives. I am so proud of them.

Rooted

Well, today is a Thurday... and tomorrow I will load a big yellow school bus with many, many Junior high students to head to our Fall Retreat. They are a blessing. We took some time off this summer to focus our efforts on staff training and such so our kick off for Junior High ministry was the first week in September. I went home that night with a slight weeze because they had me laughing so hard. Again, they are a blessing. Back to my original reason for writing. I am teaching my first ever retreat. I have spoken at retreats before, but never every session, and coming up with the weekend theme. I am not stressed... but I feel responsible. Responsible to handle the Word of God correctly. Responsible to teach clearly. Responsible to do what I can and surrender it all to God. I am praying the Holy Spirit shows up in a powerful way this weekend and illuminates the Word of God to us. Please pray for me. Our theme for the weekend is Rooted. Rooted in Christ and rooted in love. Thanks so much! Erin

Too Soon to Tell

Have you ever gone through a trial where you knew God was at work but you had a hard time seeing Him "in the construction zone?" I currently find myself in a construction zone searching for answers. I have a long standing relationship with God. I have seen His character at work. I trust Him. I know He is good. I know he wants good for me too. I know His ways are not are ways. I know He works all things together for those of us that love Him and are called to His great purposes. I know that He is sovereign. He has a plan. I know He is kind. I know He loves me, and even sings over me. But sometimes life is just plain hard. Difficult. Sad. Trying. Painful. While it is TOO SOON TO TELL the ways He is molding me through this trial, I can only hope that at the end of the day, I bring glory to Him. Praying He uses all things in my life to point others to Him. He is so worthy.

Life- In Top 10 Form

Since I haven't posted in awhile (ok, in forever....) Thought I might give a top 10 list of some of the highlights of life at the present time.

10. Good Friday and Easter (this isn't #10-I just thought of it first-probably should have put it in the top 2 or so :) - Our church put on a very reflective Good Friday service. It was challenging and sooo good. My heart was distracted when I walked into the service, but so so tender towards Christ when I left for all He had done for me on that dark day in history. Yes, it was Friday, but Sunday was coming. Our Easter service was great as well. We rejoiced over all Christ accomplished when He defeated death. God used those services to remind me of His grace. We had a fabulous Easter afternoon with some life long friends and family. WAY too much food- not to mention most of them being carbs- but sat for a long time at the table and laughed til our sides hurt.

9. Jason and I added a cat named Tuck to our little home. She is slightly crazy and most of the time she stresses Jason out. She has more energy than either of us ever had even in elementary school. But, she has been a blessing to us (can you say that about a cat???) because she is so funny to watch. She has a big personality and is just so full of life.

8. My friend Jill moved back to Chicago. I was missing her more than I knew. I am so glad she is back- and one of our favorite things about it is now our husbands have gotten to know each other. Justin (Jill's husband) has a sense of humor that makes my sides hurt.

7. Transitioning from High school ministry to Junior high ministry. My role at church has me in pretty consistent change. I love it. I get to devote a lot of time to both ministries- but just recently switched to JH for a season. Those kids crack me up. I forgot how much I laugh when working with 12-13 yr. olds. Their perspective of life is just so refreshing. Thank you, Jesus for Junior high students!

6. Writing small group curriculum for our High school small group ministry. Can't say it's my strongest gifting, but I really enjoyed it. And probably now that it is done, I can say I enjoyed it even more!

5. BSB- I am in a Bible study with five other women. This summer we will have been together for 4 years! My life is richer because of them. My walk with God is more sharp because of them. My perspective has changed because of them. We have done a LOT of life together. This past summer my husband and I went through a hard time (not within our marriage) but had some hardship happen to us...and my Bible study were the "first responders." They took good care of us. Meals, Brian Regan CD's, pictures their kids drew to cheer us up, and texts saying they were going to the grocery store-and could they pick up anything for us. I will never forget those moments. They were and are wonderful friends. So blessed to do life with them.

4. Hanging out with girls in our ministry. Many coffee dates, ice cream runs, and countless cokes have produced much conversation about life, dating, ministry, purpose, college, families... the list goes on. I am loving every minute with them.

3. Jason and I planned a trip to Italy this summer. This hasn't happened yet, but the excitement and anticipation is enough to make the top ten.

2. Learning to cook- Not always a Paula Deen worthy meal- but loving being in the kitchen and figuring it out. The down side of this - and would most certainly make the list if I had a top 10 list of worst things would be the grocery shopping that is required to make this # happen.

1. I am spending my quiet time in a mix of Proverbs and Daniel right now. Little bit of wisdom and prophecy mixed?! Yes. I think so. I tend to be more comfortable with a book like Proverbs, I love the practicalness of the Bible. But, I also fully appreciate the deep theology found in other books too. The more "heady" ones, if you will. So trying to get a good mixture of both in my times with the Lord.

Well, there you have it. Maybe I will blog again before 2013, but no promises here. Erin